


When She's Gone

by thedoctorandpotter



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, F/M, I APOLOGIZE, Twelve and Clara - Freeform, doctor who - Freeform, whouffaldi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-04
Updated: 2016-05-04
Packaged: 2018-06-06 08:57:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6747451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedoctorandpotter/pseuds/thedoctorandpotter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When she's gone, he needs some time to compute and mourn before he tries for the impossible.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When She's Gone

The air around him was pierced with cries and screams of agony and loss, but he hardly noticed. The screaming in his own head was too much to bear as he sank to his knees, cradling her body. She was gone, and he was there to pay. The Doctor buried his face in Clara's  cold, drained-of-blood neck as he picked her up bridal style. Her neck stretched and her head lolled, lifeless. He let out a choking sob of revulsion and grief, his tears landing on her chest.

Trying to compose himself, he dashed through the cluster of bodies, alive and dead. There it was, his brave blue box, and he pushed through the doors, desperately rushing towards the med-bay. The TARDIS wheezed, and knowing what had happened, redirected the hallways to his bedroom. He needed rest and acceptance, and she needed to be respected.

The Doctor burst through the door and realized where he was. "I know what you did!" he bellowed to the TARDIS. "Take me to the med-bay! She's alive!" His voice broke and a sob found its way to his throat again. " Sh-she's alive..." he trailed off, dissolving in grief and sinking to the floor once more. He knew the truth, though wished he didn't. The TARDIS warbled sadly, taking off. He was sitting there on the floor of his bedroom, his Impossible Girl looking impossibly fragile in his arms for a period of time that he didn't know how to identify. Maybe he was the fragile one. Eventually, he was forced to stand up, head bowed, and place her on his bed.

All he had never said to her, never shown for her, and now he had lost the chance. She would never know. The Doctor took Clara's lifeless hand in his, stroking it. "I loved you." he whispered, tears still streaming down his face. "I still do. You'll always be imprinted on me." The Doctor was choking up again. "Clara Oswin Oswald. Just a human. My small English teacher from the Planet Earth. But you meant everything to me." He stared at her face, wishing she would open her eyes and look at him with those beautiful brown eyes of hers. "Everything." With that, he broke down completely and buried his face in her shirt. It still smelled like her. The Doctor realized that he had to be brave. He needed her more than anything, but now that she was gone, he had to support himself.

 _The blackest day,_ he recalled himself saying to her once. _The darkest hour. Chin up, shoulders back, let's see what we're made of._

"Me..." he whispered to her. "Without you..."


End file.
